Cruel Intentions
by OrangeGirlExplosion
Summary: Cruel: Disposed to give pain to others; willing or pleased to hurt, torment, or afflict; destitute of sympathetic kindness and pity; merciless. How cruel would you be to get something you wanted?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: You're asking if I own **Disney's** Recess? I don't even own myself. I used to own my mind, but I don't know where it is anymore…

OGE: That's right, I'm still here and I'm still fly! I took this down and put it back up for one reason and one reason only. I don't want the review page used as a message board. That and the deal between MissPsycho has been resolved and I'm free to write MY, read it, comprehend it, MY fic in peace. FINALLY! If you have anything to say about me in general, then you can email me and I can ignore you in the comfort of my own inbox. If you have anything to say about the fic, then you can review. 

**Prologue**

The school bell rang signaling the end of another day of imprisonment at Third Street School. Children piled out of the front doors to get to their own after school activities. Some had plans, some had lessons, some had things to do, some were going to the arcade, some were heading to Kelso's and others were just going home.

But two figures atop the roof of Third Street were not inclined to join their schoolmates below and head away from the building. One slightly bigger than the other, they stood apart and facing each other at opposite ends of the roof. 

Silence reigned between the two while the noise of children being freed and running wild was carried up by the winds. It wasn't until the last child was out the door until one of the figures, the slighter, feminine one, spoke. 

" So tell me, what exactly is it you want from me? I mean not just everyone is called here just for convo sake. You either want something from me or you want me to do something for you. And judging by the location you specified in your note, I'd say you'd really want privacy so it must be important."

" I didn't know you could speak in full sentence structure without using your usual conjunction." The larger, masculine, one smirked.

The female snorted and crossed her arms. " And here I thought you couldn't without sounding like a pompous jackass. And I only speak that way around the others."

Unexpectedly, the male smiled completely.

" Why are you smiling?" The female asked; a single brown raised in confusion," I just insulted you. You can't be that stupid…"

" I'm smiling because that's the reason I called for you. You're the only one that I can trust to do this for me."

" And why me? Why not someone else? And don't you usually turn to Detweiler and his merry men for favors and all?"

The male's eyes narrowed at the mention of names. " They are exactly what this is about. I called for you because you're supposed to be the best."

" I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific. I happen to be _the best_ at a lot of things…" The slighter one tossed her head a bit arrogantly to emphasize her point.

The male calmly closed the distance between them as if to make sure that no one else heard what was about to be said. 

" You see, Detweiler has something I want."

She shrugged. " Why not just take it then."

" Because it's not that easy. It isn't done that way. This is a physical possession. It's a title. He has it and I want it back. I've let him hold onto it long enough. The only problem is, all of my resources are outdated and I don't have the time to come up with new ones; considering my lifestyle. I need someone to do that for me and-"

" –And you chose me. Well, I am honored that you considered my talents. So what did you have in mind?"

" Pranks."

" Pranks? Well, you've come to the right place."

He shook his head. " No, not just cheap water balloon, banana peel pranks. I need something better. I don't want to just prank him once. I want to prank him a few times with some small, damaging things, and then humiliate him with something big and magnificent. Something no one else would think of, but they would remember it once it happened…"

" Hmm…you're in luck. I'm just the person to help you, and I know exactly what I can do for you. But I wanna know something…"

" What's in it for you?"

" You're very perceptive."

He shrugged." You gotta learn to read people in my area of play. I noticed how Detweiler seems to enjoy pranking you. I'll let you hang around me for a while, I'm sure he'll leave you alone. You'll even have more pull around the playground. Not to mention the payback on Detweiler and company. Sweet enough?"

" I'll have to brush my teeth after this. But tell me, why did you think of just me and not the others too?" She tilted her head to the side in curiosity.

" Simple. Your rep exceeds you. I've heard of others that were better and even some other school kids that were the best. But I don't just need _best_, I need _cruel_ too." 

The female tossed her hair and smirked decidedly predatorily. " Well, in my line of play you've got to be cruel to rule. I'm sure you understand."

The male extended his hand. " All terms of the agreement are out of the way. The stage is set and all we have to do is memorize our lines. Curtain rises at the first bell tomorrow, think you can handle it?"

" Of course. I'm a great actor," The female intrepidly grabbed his hand in a firm handshake to seal the deal," You'll have your title as Prankster Prince back in no time at all your majesty. I am the cruelest of the Ashley's. There's a reason for it."

The male smiled in triumph as he released her hand and moved towards the door to leave. " I'll leave everything to your sadistic mind. I'm counting on you Ashley B.!"

 " Leave everything to me King Bob!! Ashley Boulais will not fail!"


	2. First Blood

OGE: Koban wa all! It's taken a little while, but I have written chapter 1. This has to be one of the longest chapters I've ever written, but when you're waiting for your mother to come back from the hospital where they're holding your grandmother, you get a lot of time on you're hands. Don't be worried; she's an annoying gospel-crazy screw. If you want to worry for someone worry about me. I've got a brand new Gamecube, but no memory card. Figures my dad would forget that.

If you have any favorite pranks that you wanna see, either email me or leave it in a review. I'm off to play Soul Caliber and beat down Mitsurugi with Link. SHI-NE SAMURAI!!!*Charges with spork in hand* 

Chapter 1 

The first bell of the day rang clearly from the Third Street School building. Students reluctantly poured into the doors of the educational establishment (read: children's prison) to begin another 8 hours of "fun" and "adventure" with books and math problems and grammar and thankfully recess.

King Bob was one of these kids, albeit a little bigger, but still one of the kids. He strode down the hallway with his usual confident air and purposeful strides. His guards were walking to his sides and front and back. Children quickly got out of his way; in no hurry to be shoved aside by the larger bodyguards.

Normally, his face was expressionless and blankly staring straight ahead; ignoring all those around him until he deemed them worth his attention. But today there was a superior smirk across his lips. That usually meant something was going to happen that day. At least to those that knew him and paid attention to what he did. To others who didn't, they thought he might be going to personally punish someone at the dodge ball wall. It wasn't widely known, but he could throw probably harder than Vince and Gus combined if he was pissed enough. Offenders would rather deal with the executioners than the king himself.

He was glad the morning was finally there. He'd spent a good part of the night and his dreams thinking of what Ashley B. would do to Detweiler to get him his title back. He had heard that she was the cruelest of the Ashley's. She who had been the one that signed up Spinelli to the beauty pageant. She who had been the one that wanted to take all the buried treasure of Third Street. She who had kicked Ashley A., leader of the Ashley's, out of the clubhouse. She who had tried to steal Ashley A.'s new friend Grundler once she had been blacklisted. She who had stunned Ashley Q. into silence with a frigid retort in a verbal battle over kickball kicked in her direction. 

She could take it low, lower and lower than that.

And he was really looking forward to the 'lower than that'. 

He had really checked all over everywhere to find the perfect candidate to regain his title. He'd known people that could pull good pranks and do some wicked tricks. But most of these people were either too lame or too expensive. Others were idiots that just wanted to see what they could get from him.

He had been particularly frustrated one day when he heard the verbal argument between Ashley Q. and Ashley B.. They were going at it like cougars in the mountains. She was positively vicious in her attacks and she had shut up that Spinelli girl with a brutal shot to her questionable relationship with Detweiler. That was downright harsh. 

And exactly what he was looking for. It wasn't too long before he sent for her through letter. That was when they met on the roof. He needed her services. She wanted popularity. A deal was made and someone will pay because of it. 

As he entered his classroom and prepared to ignore the teacher for better have of the day, he set his mind to guessing what his business associate would do to torment their victim. He reclined in his desk and put his feet up on whoever was sitting in front of him's shoulders. Desks were so uncomfortable. 

" Now class, settle down so we may begin."

Rolling his eyes at the beginning of a lecture on Hannibal and his use of elephants, King Bob pushed his crown forward so it covered his eyes. He'd just snooze until his attention was needed. His servants would take notes.  

He was just about to go to sleep when someone tapped his shoulder from behind. " Your majesty, is something going on?"

" Why do you ask?" He really didn't think this conversation required his full attention or him to be completely awake.

" You just seem.I don't know.different somehow.Like you're looking forward to something."

" And you seem to have a problem with that?"

" No sir, but it is my job to be informed in case something might happen to you."

" You worry too much. It's nothing to do with you. And it's hardly life threatening so don't get your jock in a bind. Kick back and ignore the class like everyone else. And gimme some gum while you're at it."

" Any type in particular, sir?"

" Strappleberry. And be quick about it!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

" Gimme that you dogface!"

" Quiet catbutt it's mine!!"

" Liar! It's mine!"

" Class, calm down! Agatha! Thomas! Stop arguing!"

Ashley B. sighed in boredom and watched her class with apparent laziness. It was the same thing everyday. Everyday, Agatha would be playing with her Senor Fusion action figure. Everyday, Thomas would try to steal it. And everyday, an argument would break out that lasted the better part of class. 

Oh well. At least yesterday something interesting happened. She was now under orders from King Bob to prank one TJ Detweiler on his behalf. And she got herself and the other Ashley's a place to hang out and increase their popularity ratings around the playground. There would be no way that TJ and co. could prank them if they were in the presence of the King. The bodyguards would catch on immediately and take the assault as an attack on the King and react accordingly. Those high-pressure water and paint ball guns they were packing were no fun to get hit with. They could take out the middle school football team with those things if they wanted too.

It was a win-win situation. She could get the popularity of the 6th graders and she could get back at Detweiler, and possibly his friends too. She was looking for something to put her sadistic mind to lately and now she had a cause. 

Revenge.

Retribution.

Payback.

Vengeance.

Retaliation.

Punishment.

All in all she was going to have a very good time. 

" Like Ashley B., what's up with your face?" A valley voice pulled her from her wonderful thoughts of reprisal and back into the classroom.

She looked around and came face to face with Ashley A. Since she was at school and in the presence of those she spent her days with, she had to remember to talk like a valley girl and normal like she usually did. " Like, what are you talking about?"

" You have a positively evil look on your face. Are you trying to set the chalkboard on fire? What'd it do to you?"

" Don't worry about it. It's, like, nothing that concerns you. Just, like, turn around and act like nothings wrong."

Ashley A. looked a bit taken aback, but turned back around and went back to brushing out her hair. Ashley B. sighed and continued to think of her plans to torment Detweiler.

Speaking of the little snot, her first prank should be going into effect in about 5 minutes. Mediation time was almost up in the Grothke class. She wanted to see her prank in action. She wondered if she could find some way to get out of the classroom and see her work.

" Ashley B., would you go and get Hank and a ladder? Thomas! Stop jumping up and down on the bookcase and come down!"

A grin spread across her lips as soon as her teacher said those words. That was her way out and her distraction to keep from getting in trouble. She would go get Hank alright.

" Right away sir." 

She quickly got up from her seat and walked out the door. The first thing she needed to do was to go get Hank. If she went straight to the other classroom, another student would be sent in her place and then they would know that she didn't get Hank and then half of the school would be looking for her. 

She walked up to the janitorial room and knocked on the door. " Excuse me Mr. Hank, Thomas did it again. Need the ladder!"

" Aw for the love of Mike!! Right, I'm on my way!" 

She waited patiently until Hank opened the door with the ladder in tow. Then she pointed him the right direction, but made a detour herself saying that she felt a little sick and ran for the girl's bathroom. Hank stopped for a second and asked if she needed him to send someone to come with her or to check on her. The lie was coming out of her mouth before she knew it. A quick excuse of not liking to be crowded when she was nauseous got her freedom from any more intruders and possible snitches. 

Now she walked the halls freely, quite enjoying the freedom while she made her way to Detweiler's room across the hall from hers. She idly wondered if King Bob wanted to see what she could do. It might reassure him to know that his mission was in good hands. 

As she passed by the 6th graders room, she peeked inside and saw the most pitiful sight. Their teacher, Mr. Wagner, was talking and pointing to things in the book and on the board. Now there was nothing wrong with that, most teachers did things like that. It was their job. But the majority of the class was asleep. The only ones that were awake were the smart kids, the boys in the back playing paper football and servants and guards of the playground King; who appeared to be asleep also.

" Mmm. Speak of the devil. Bet he would like to see my magic in person." No sooner had she said the words did Ashley B. have a plan formed in her mind to get King Bob out of class.

She stepped back, straightened her clothes a little and fluffed her hair a bit to make herself more presentable to match her plan. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

" God, I hate this class. I can't wait until I get to middle school and away from this pigpen of an educational institute." 

King Bob was bored. Not just the regular 'I need something to do bored', more like the 'God I hate this scheduled life, I need something to happen before I go insane and kill myself or someone else' type bored. He wished he knew what was going on outside the classroom.

And he still hadn't figured out what Ashley B. was planning to do. She said she'd take care of it alright, but his habit of being in control of almost everything demanded that he know what was going on. Besides that he just wanted to busy his mind with something other than the lifecycle and mating calls of the African elephant. 

" Your majesty, I thought you were asleep."

He snorted. " Sleep? Sleep?! Who in the entire playground can sleep through that?!" 

The guard behind him, Dennis, looked to what he was gesturing at. Their teacher was imitating the mating calls of the elephant again. Well, it was quite loud and annoying. And it would be quite hard to even attempt to sleep through that noise. " I see your point sir."

He sighed and looked away from their teacher for something else to focus on other than that godforsaken noise. He did a double take at what he saw at the doorway. 

" Dennis?"

" Yes sir?"

" Is that who I think it is at the door or are those noises taking a toll on my eye sight?"

He looked up and over towards the door. " I believe that's one of the Ashley's sir. Ashley Boulais to be exact."

" That's what I thought. Wonder what she wants."

He didn't have long to wonder because she came in and interrupted Mr. Wagner. 

" Excuse me Mr. Wagner, Robert is needed in the office." She said the words smoothly and coolly; as if she weren't in the room with kids twice her size. 

Almost all of the underclassmen that came to either 6th grade room stuttered or blushed or forgot what they were supposed to say. There was even one occasion where one poor little boy peed his pants and ran away screaming for his mother. And he had the wrong room. 

Mr. Wagner looked a bit dubious at her statement. " Then why didn't Ms. Lemon come herself or send Menlow?"

" Because I was following Hank and she and Menlow were in the middle of typing up the permission slips for the kindergarten trip to Bonky World. As you know sir, those are an all day job and she didn't have the time to make a trip to the other side of the school when I was just walking by. Save her the trouble."

At that he really didn't have any cause for argument. " Alright Robert, you heard the little lady. Go with her."

King Bob removed is feet from the desk and stood up. His bodyguards stood up with him to follow, but he put his hand up. They looked at each other, but sat back down as per orders and watched him leave with the 4th grader. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

" What's this about anyway?"

" Nothing."

" And this might just be me still suffering from the effects of Funk and Wagner's elephant mating calls, but isn't the office in *that* direction?"

" We're not going to the office your majesty. I was on my way to see how my magic worked on TJ and well, you looked like you could stand a little excitement, so I rescued you."

" So then, what was all that with the office and kindergarteners and permission slips?"

" Lies."

Ashley B. and King Bob walked down the hallway towards the other 4th grade classroom. Both of them in little hurry to get to their destination. They got a few strange looks from kids coming from the bathroom and the AV kid, but none of them dare say anything to either of them because you just didn't tell the ruler of the playground anything. Most of the teachers didn't even bother him.

" Lies? Just like that? They just fall out of your mouth just like that?" The playground royal looked dubious. 

She simply shrugged. " Kids call it a gift. Parents call it a curse. I just call it improvising reality to fit my current agenda." 

" You mean lying?"

" Basically."

He 'hmm'ed in response. Somewhat impressive. Not only could she speak well, she could lie like a Persian rug almost naturally and come up with a safety net if her lie is question. And he thought he was the only one who could do that. There were only two ways to come across that skill. Extreme experience with lying or being born with the ability. And the second ability was highly unlikely. " So if we're not going to the office, where are we going?"

" Ms. Grothke's classroom." 

" What?! You're taking me back to that nut's class?!"

" Well, that is where Detweiler is. And you'll enjoy what you see there. Trust me."

He rolled his eyes. " Alright. But if she pulls that Zen/Fung Shuei thing, I'm outta here."

They reached the 4th graders door and Ashley B. cracked the door a little so they could see in. Not big enough to be noticeable, but not so small that you couldn't see. She got down on her knees to remain unnoticeable and King Bob leaned over her.

Both of them watched Detweiler in the middle of the classroom clowning with Vince and Spinelli. Both scowled at the boy and looked to Ms. Grothke at the front of the class.

" Center class. Focus. I would like the product of your mental exercises in your home environment please."

" Why can't she just say homework like ever other teacher?" Ashley B. had little patience for the woman.

King Bob snorted. " Because unlike other 4th graders in all the other schools, we get a teacher that's a crazy screw!"

She snickered at that, then pointed when she reached TJ. " Here we go. It's about to start."

" What is? She's just getting homework. That redcap never has his homework."

" He actually did it today though. Yeah, this is it. Just watch."

He looked at her in confusion, but looked back to the classroom. Ms. Grothke was asking TJ for his homework. He was bragging about actually having it and went to open his desk to get it out. 

But when he went to open it, it wouldn't open. He tried again and again, but it wouldn't open. Mikey and Vince tried but didn't make progress. TJ got mad and tried again. This time the desk lid lifted a little. The source of his irritation seemed to be some pink substance that lined the edges of the desk.

King Bob looked disgusted. " Ew. What is that stuff?"

" Gum." 

" I'm not sure I wanna know, but I'm gonna ask anyway. How did you get that much gum chewed and placed on that desk?"

" By threatening the little kindergarteners and giving them free candy, then having them put it on his desk." Ashley B. smiled as TJ was managing to lift the lid with much difficulty after Mikey loosened it.

" I'm assuming there's a purpose for this aside from undue irritation?"

TJ pulled up really hard, and the stretching gum snapped. When it snapped, the desk lid flew up and popped him straight in the chin; causing his head to fly back. 

She bit her lip to keep from laughing loud. " Now that's funny!"

" I'm never gonna be able to look him in the face again without remembering that." He bit down on his lip to keep from laughing out loud too.

" That's not all there is to it, your majesty. As you know, you can't very well have gum in the classroom. And any kind of damage done to school property is punishable by detention. That and he doesn't have this." She handed him a paper.

" 'My First Whoopee Cushion by TJ Detweiler'. Wait, is this his homework?"

" You're perceptive-ness is just plain amazing.  I took it this morning and replaced it with a paper with 'P.P. was here'."

" So he's been humiliated, smacked, given detention and he doesn't have his homework? You really go all out don't you?"

" Hey, this is just act one. I haven't even started yet. I'm just stretching my prankster muscles. Now c'mon, we've been gone long enough. Any longer and someone will come looking for one, if not both of us. Oh, and by the way, you have to go to the store before you head home."

" What for?"

" Mr. Wagner is going to ask what the phone call was about. And even though it isn't his business, he'll ask anyway. Tell him you have to buy your sister tampons and he'll leave you alone."

" Improvising reality again?"

" It's begging for it. Reality is boring. It needs improvising. Gives life character."

" You mean it's fun?"

" Yeah, basically."  


End file.
